My nephew just released this new album and you can get a copy on his website feverdreams.com
[bandcamp album=3047201870 bgcol=ebcaa2 linkcol=4285BB size=grande]
Chrysalis Angel
Becoming an Angel is the work of humans.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
DON'T GET BEHIND THE "8" BALL
8 Things Remarkably Successful People Do
The most successful people in business work differently. See what they do--and why it works.
Getty
They also share a number of habits:
1. They don't create back-up plans.
Back-up plans can help you sleep easier at night. Back-up plans can also create an easy out when times get tough.
You'll work a lot harder and a lot longer if your primary plan simply has to work because there is no other option. Total commitment--without a safety net--will spur you to work harder than you ever imagined possible.
If somehow the worst does happen (and the "worst" is never as bad as you think) trust that you will find a way to rebound. As long as you keep working hard and keep learning from your mistakes, you always will.
2. They do the work...
You can be good with a little effort. You can be really good with a little more effort.
But you can't be great--at anything--unless you put in an incredible amount of focused effort.
Scratch the surface of any person with rare skills and you'll find a person who has put thousands of hours of effort into developing those skills.
There are no shortcuts. There are no overnight successes. Everyone has heard about the 10,000 hours principle but no one follows it... except remarkably successful people.
So start doing the work now. Time is wasting.
3. ...and they work a lot more.
Forget the Sheryl Sandberg "I leave every day at 5:30" stories. I'm sure she does. But she's not you.
Every extremely successful entrepreneur I know (personally) works more hours than the average person--a lot more. They have long lists of things they want to get done. So they have to put in lots of time.
Better yet, they want to put in lots of time.
If you don't embrace a workload others would consider crazy then your goal doesn't mean that much to you--or it's not particularly difficult to achieve. Either way you won't be remarkably successful.
4. They avoid the crowds.
Conventional wisdom yields conventional results. Joining the crowd--no matter how trendy the crowd or "hot" the opportunity--is a recipe for mediocrity.
Remarkably successful people habitually do what other people won't do. They go where others won't go because there's a lot less competition and a much greater chance for success.
5. They start at the end...
Average success is often based on setting average goals.
Decide what you really want: to be the best, the fastest, the cheapest, the biggest, whatever. Aim for the ultimate. Decide where you want to end up. That is your goal.
Then you can work backwards and lay out every step along the way.
Never start small where goals are concerned. You'll make better decisions--and find it much easier to work a lot harder--when your ultimate goal is ultimate success.
6. ... and they don't stop there.
Achieving a goal--no matter how huge--isn't the finish line for highly successful people. Achieving one huge goal just creates a launching pad for achieving another huge goal.
Maybe you want to create a $100 million business; once you do you can leverage your contacts and influence to create a charitable foundation for a cause you believe in. Then your business and humanitarian success can create a platform for speaking, writing, and thought leadership. Then...
The process of becoming remarkably successful in one field will give you the skills and network to be remarkably successful in many other fields.
Remarkably successful people don't try to win just one race. They expect and plan to win a number of subsequent races.
7. They sell.
I once asked a number of business owners and CEOs to name the one skill they felt contributed the most to their success. Each said the ability to sell.
Keep in mind selling isn't manipulating, pressuring, or cajoling. Selling is explaining the logic and benefits of a decision or position. Selling is convincing other people to work with you. Selling is overcoming objections and roadblocks.
Selling is the foundation of business and personal success: knowing how to negotiate, to deal with "no," to maintain confidence and self-esteem in the face of rejection, to communicate effectively with a wide range of people, to build long-term relationships...
When you truly believe in your idea, or your company, or yourself then you don't need to have a huge ego or a huge personality. You don't need to "sell."
You just need to communicate.
8. They are never too proud.
To admit they made a mistake. To say they are sorry. To have big dreams. To admit they owe their success to others. To poke fun at themselves. To ask for help.
To fail.
And to try again.
Read more:
Monday, January 7, 2013
Happy New Year Everyone!
Happy New Year Everyone!!
Meeting of the Chrysalis Group will be at 10:AM each Sunday in January. Service lasts until 11:30 with social gathering before and after the service. Skuli Thorallson, a certified Swedenborg minister, is our pastor.
Contributions to the refreshments or a donation to purchase refreshments is greatly appreciated. Barry spends a lot of early morning hours baking exotic treats for guests and visitors.
I hear that last Sunday the group discovered the power of "letting go"
I drove by yesterday and Barry was working in the garden. I missed the regular service because I had a touch of vertigo, but I felt better by noon and went out for a drive.
Here is an article from Huffington Post about Happy People. Does any of it apply to you? A lot of it touched nerves in me.
"Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city."
How happy are you and why? This is a question I spend a fair amount of time thinking about, not only as it applies to my own levels of happiness, but also as it applies to my family, friends, and the people who I work with. Since graduating with my master's degree in positive psychology, I've worked with and observed thousands of people in a wide variety of settings, and happy people just flow with the groove of life in a unique way. Here is what they do differently:
They build a strong social fabric. Happy people stay connected to their families, neighbors, places of worship, and communities. These strong connections act as a buffer to depression and create strong, meaningful connections. The rate of depression has increased dramatically in the last 50 to 75 years. The World Health Organization predicts that by 2020, depression will be the second leading cause of mortality in the world, impacting nearly one-third of all adults. While several forces are likely behind this increase, one of the most important factors may be the disconnection from people and their families and communities.
They engage in activities that fit their strengths, values and lifestyle. One size does not fit all when it comes to happiness strategies. You tailor your workout to your specific fitness goals -- happy people do the same thing with their emotional goals. Some strategies that are known to promote happiness are just too corny for me, but the ones that work best allow me to practice acts of kindness, express gratitude, and become fully engaged. Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky offers a wonderful "Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic" in her book The How of Happiness.
They practice gratitude. Gratitude does the body good. It helps you cope with trauma and stress, increases self-worth and self-esteem when you realize how much you've accomplished, and often helps dissolve negative emotions. Research also suggests that the character strength of gratitude is a fairly strong correlate with life satisfaction.[1]
They have an optimistic thinking style. Happy people reign in their pessimistic thinking in three ways. First, they focus their time and energy on where they have control. They know when to move on if certain strategies aren't working or if they don't have control in a specific area. Second, they know that "this too shall pass." Happy people "embrace the suck" and understand that while the ride might be bumpy at times, it won't last forever. Finally, happy people are good at compartmentalizing. They don't let an adversity in one area of their life seep over into other areas of their life.
They know it's good to do good. Happy people help others by volunteering their time. Research shows a strong association between helping behavior and well-being, health, and longevity. Acts of kindness help you feel good about yourself and others, and the resulting positive emotions enhance your psychological and physical resilience. One study followed five women who had multiple sclerosis over a three-year period of time.[2] These women volunteered as peer supporters for 67 other MS patients. The results showed that the five peer support volunteers experienced positive changes that were larger than the benefits shown by the patients they supported.
They know that material wealth is only a very small part of the equation. Happy people have a healthy perspective about how much joy material possessions will bring. In The How of Happiness, Lyubomirsky explains that in 1940, Americans reported being "very happy" with an average score of 7.5 out of 10.[3] Fast forward to today, and with all of our iPods, color TVs, computers, fast cars, and an income that has more than doubled, what do you think our average happiness score is today? It's 7.2. Not only does materialism not bring happiness, it's a strong predictor of unhappiness. One study examined the attitudes of 12,000 freshman when they were eighteen, then measured their life satisfaction at age 37. Those who had expressed materialistic aspirations as freshmen were less satisfied with their lives two decades later.[4]
They develop healthy coping strategies.. Happy people encounter stressful life adversities, but they have developed successful coping strategies. Post-traumatic growth is the positive personal changes that result from an individual's struggle to deal with highly challenging life events, and it occurs in a wide range of people facing a wide variety of challenging circumstances. According to researchers Tedeschi and Calhoun, there are five factors or areas of growth after a challenging event: renewed appreciation for life, recognizing new paths for your life, enhanced personal strength, improved relationships with others, and spiritual growth. Happy people become skilled at seeing the good that might come from challenging times.
They focus on health. Happy people take care of their mind and body and manage their stress. Focusing on your health, though, doesn't just mean exercising. Happy people actually act like happy people. They smile, are engaged, and bring an optimal level of energy and enthusiasm to what they do.
They cultivate spiritual emotions. According to Lyubomirsky, there is a growing body of science suggesting that religious people are happier, healthier, and recover more quickly from trauma than nonreligious people.[5] In addition, authors Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener explain in their book Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth that spiritual emotions are essential to psychological wealth and happiness because they help us connect to something larger than ourselves.
They have direction. Working toward meaningful life goals is one of the most important strategies happy people utilize. I downplayed the importance of meaning during my law practice, but it became evident how much meaning mattered in my life when I burned out. Happy people have values that they care about and outcomes that are worth working for, according to Diener and Biswas-Diener.
The late, great Dr. Chris Peterson talked about his own journey with happiness as follows: "I spent my young adult years postponing many of the small things that I knew would make me happy ... I was fortunate enough to realize that I would never have the time unless I made the time. And then the rest of my life began."
Happy people have developed a specific set of strategies over time that causes them to see life differently -- a balanced portfolio of skills and emotions. What would you add to this list?
Paula Davis-Laack, JD, MAPP, is an internationally-known writer and stress and resilience expert who helps high-achievers manage stress and increase well-being by mastering a set of skills proven to enhance resilience, build mental toughness, and promote strong relationships. Connect with Paula via:
Her website: www.marieelizbethcompany.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/marieelizabethcompany
Twitter: www.twitter.com/pauladavislaack
Meeting of the Chrysalis Group will be at 10:AM each Sunday in January. Service lasts until 11:30 with social gathering before and after the service. Skuli Thorallson, a certified Swedenborg minister, is our pastor.
Contributions to the refreshments or a donation to purchase refreshments is greatly appreciated. Barry spends a lot of early morning hours baking exotic treats for guests and visitors.
I hear that last Sunday the group discovered the power of "letting go"
I drove by yesterday and Barry was working in the garden. I missed the regular service because I had a touch of vertigo, but I felt better by noon and went out for a drive.
Here is an article from Huffington Post about Happy People. Does any of it apply to you? A lot of it touched nerves in me.
"Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city."
-- George Burns
How happy are you and why? This is a question I spend a fair amount of time thinking about, not only as it applies to my own levels of happiness, but also as it applies to my family, friends, and the people who I work with. Since graduating with my master's degree in positive psychology, I've worked with and observed thousands of people in a wide variety of settings, and happy people just flow with the groove of life in a unique way. Here is what they do differently:
They build a strong social fabric. Happy people stay connected to their families, neighbors, places of worship, and communities. These strong connections act as a buffer to depression and create strong, meaningful connections. The rate of depression has increased dramatically in the last 50 to 75 years. The World Health Organization predicts that by 2020, depression will be the second leading cause of mortality in the world, impacting nearly one-third of all adults. While several forces are likely behind this increase, one of the most important factors may be the disconnection from people and their families and communities.
They engage in activities that fit their strengths, values and lifestyle. One size does not fit all when it comes to happiness strategies. You tailor your workout to your specific fitness goals -- happy people do the same thing with their emotional goals. Some strategies that are known to promote happiness are just too corny for me, but the ones that work best allow me to practice acts of kindness, express gratitude, and become fully engaged. Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky offers a wonderful "Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic" in her book The How of Happiness.
They practice gratitude. Gratitude does the body good. It helps you cope with trauma and stress, increases self-worth and self-esteem when you realize how much you've accomplished, and often helps dissolve negative emotions. Research also suggests that the character strength of gratitude is a fairly strong correlate with life satisfaction.[1]
They have an optimistic thinking style. Happy people reign in their pessimistic thinking in three ways. First, they focus their time and energy on where they have control. They know when to move on if certain strategies aren't working or if they don't have control in a specific area. Second, they know that "this too shall pass." Happy people "embrace the suck" and understand that while the ride might be bumpy at times, it won't last forever. Finally, happy people are good at compartmentalizing. They don't let an adversity in one area of their life seep over into other areas of their life.
They know it's good to do good. Happy people help others by volunteering their time. Research shows a strong association between helping behavior and well-being, health, and longevity. Acts of kindness help you feel good about yourself and others, and the resulting positive emotions enhance your psychological and physical resilience. One study followed five women who had multiple sclerosis over a three-year period of time.[2] These women volunteered as peer supporters for 67 other MS patients. The results showed that the five peer support volunteers experienced positive changes that were larger than the benefits shown by the patients they supported.
They know that material wealth is only a very small part of the equation. Happy people have a healthy perspective about how much joy material possessions will bring. In The How of Happiness, Lyubomirsky explains that in 1940, Americans reported being "very happy" with an average score of 7.5 out of 10.[3] Fast forward to today, and with all of our iPods, color TVs, computers, fast cars, and an income that has more than doubled, what do you think our average happiness score is today? It's 7.2. Not only does materialism not bring happiness, it's a strong predictor of unhappiness. One study examined the attitudes of 12,000 freshman when they were eighteen, then measured their life satisfaction at age 37. Those who had expressed materialistic aspirations as freshmen were less satisfied with their lives two decades later.[4]
They develop healthy coping strategies.. Happy people encounter stressful life adversities, but they have developed successful coping strategies. Post-traumatic growth is the positive personal changes that result from an individual's struggle to deal with highly challenging life events, and it occurs in a wide range of people facing a wide variety of challenging circumstances. According to researchers Tedeschi and Calhoun, there are five factors or areas of growth after a challenging event: renewed appreciation for life, recognizing new paths for your life, enhanced personal strength, improved relationships with others, and spiritual growth. Happy people become skilled at seeing the good that might come from challenging times.
They focus on health. Happy people take care of their mind and body and manage their stress. Focusing on your health, though, doesn't just mean exercising. Happy people actually act like happy people. They smile, are engaged, and bring an optimal level of energy and enthusiasm to what they do.
They cultivate spiritual emotions. According to Lyubomirsky, there is a growing body of science suggesting that religious people are happier, healthier, and recover more quickly from trauma than nonreligious people.[5] In addition, authors Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener explain in their book Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth that spiritual emotions are essential to psychological wealth and happiness because they help us connect to something larger than ourselves.
They have direction. Working toward meaningful life goals is one of the most important strategies happy people utilize. I downplayed the importance of meaning during my law practice, but it became evident how much meaning mattered in my life when I burned out. Happy people have values that they care about and outcomes that are worth working for, according to Diener and Biswas-Diener.
The late, great Dr. Chris Peterson talked about his own journey with happiness as follows: "I spent my young adult years postponing many of the small things that I knew would make me happy ... I was fortunate enough to realize that I would never have the time unless I made the time. And then the rest of my life began."
Happy people have developed a specific set of strategies over time that causes them to see life differently -- a balanced portfolio of skills and emotions. What would you add to this list?
Paula Davis-Laack, JD, MAPP, is an internationally-known writer and stress and resilience expert who helps high-achievers manage stress and increase well-being by mastering a set of skills proven to enhance resilience, build mental toughness, and promote strong relationships. Connect with Paula via:
Her website: www.marieelizbethcompany.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/marieelizabethcompany
Twitter: www.twitter.com/pauladavislaack
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